Meanwhile in Florida: Bus Evacuated After Teen Hot-Boxes It With Axe Body Spray, Coins New Term ‘Douchebus’

It should have been a good day. The Florida sun was bright and balmy. Tyler the bus had freshly changed oil, a full tank of gas, and Todd was driving. It was always good when Todd drove; he didn’t fart into the seat as much as everybody else did. Today was the same routine as always: drive the route, pick up the kids, drop the kids off. How was Tyler supposed to know that it would be the end of its life, thanks to one teen and his choice of shitty cologne? When the adolescent stepped onto the bus that day, it was obvious things were different. His hair was slicked back. His jeans were a little skinnier. He had a swagger about him that no 14-year-old who hasn’t had sex yet should conceivably have.

After he chose his seat, he reached for it. And the ramifications would be felt for years to come. This teen had an ax to grind and he did so on bus #428. According to reports, the teen sprayed so much Axe Body Spray that the bus had to be evacuated. Manatee County police, fire department, and an EMS crew arrived at the scene to make sure none of the other students were harmed by the overabundance of chemicals and douchiness. But nobody checked on the bus. If they had, they would have seen a broken shell of a once-optimistic steel steed, now rendered broken, beaten and unrideable. Coincidentally, anybody that actually uses Axe Body Spray is also deemed unrideable.

Cover Photo: InnerVisionPRO (Getty Images)

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