pole dancer

Best Field Trip Ever! Pole Dancer Twirls Tastefully For Schoolchildren, Young Boys Hit Puberty Early Anyway (And Dads Thrilled They Were Forced to Chaperone)

By Nick Perkins

You know, back in our day, school field trips consisted solely of fire stations, animal farms, and, if we were really lucky, the planetarium. Incidentally, the children in the following video were probably seeing stars as well after getting an up-close-and-personal encounter with a pole dancer.

We’re not sure where, or why, this video is taking place, but it sure as heck looks like the greatest school field trip of all time. We don’t know the context in which these events are happening, but after watching it multiple times (for research purposes), we’ve taken down the following observations.

  • The amount of wide-open mouths from children (and adults).
  • The creepy dads capturing the moment on their smartphones, no doubt locking the footage in a “hidden” album for later.
  • The mom who starts clapping out of respect, no doubt remembering her own days on the pole.
  • Who pole dances to “Hallelujah?”
  • The dad on the far left who is planning how to leave his wife and child because he is in love.
  • All of the younger girls who just realized how they’re going to pay for college.
  • The little boy in the back left who also just wants to dance but is constrained by gender roles and playground monitors.
  • Did this field trip happen in a church? It kinda looks like a church.
  • Who brought the strobe light?
  • The kid in the back wearing suspenders and a bowtie, which is the perfect outfit to wear to these types of shows.

And so on. Look, we’re not judging this field trip. We think it’s awesome. The dancer is clearly talented and we fully believe schools should teach more life-applicable courses. We just didn’t think we’d get to this point so soon. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to watch the video a few more times.

For research purposes.

Cover Photo: Mel-nik (Getty Images)

Feast your eyes: Exotic Dancers Think Outside the Box to Deliver Food

MORE WEIRD NEWS:

All fun and games: Texas Exotic Dancer Falls 15 Feet, Keeps Dancing With Broken Jaw, GoFundMe the Latest Form of Healthcare

Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Weird News 5/5/2020

  • Apple’s iPhones Can Now Recognize Your Face ID While Wearing a Safety Mask, Probably Only As Long As You’re Still Crying

    Apple’s iPhones Can Now Recognize Your Face ID While Wearing a Safety Mask, Probably Only As Long As You’re Still Crying

    For more weird news, click here.

    Photo Credit: Khosrork (Getty Images)

  • City Official Resigns After Drinking Beer and Throwing Cat During Zoom Meeting, But What Else Are We Supposed to Do?

    City Official Resigns After Drinking Beer and Throwing Cat During Zoom Meeting, But What Else Are We Supposed to Do?

    For more weird news, click here.

    Photo Credit: Lydie Gigerichova (Getty Images)

  • Meanwhile in Florida: Judge Orders Attorneys to Wear Clothes During Zoom Court Hearings, Despite Objections

    Meanwhile in Florida: Judge Orders Attorneys to Wear Clothes During Zoom Court Hearings, Despite Objections

    For more weird news, click here.

    Photo Credit: lolostock (Getty Images)

  • Trump Touts Disinfectant as Coronavirus Treatment, No Cure Yet For His Stupidity

    Trump Touts Disinfectant as Coronavirus Treatment, No Cure Yet For His Stupidity

    For more weird news, click here.

    Photo Credit: JackF (Getty Images)

  • Kim Jong-un Reportedly So Alive He’ll Be Starring in a Reboot of ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’

    Kim Jong-un Reportedly So Alive He’ll Be Starring in a Reboot of ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’

    For more weird news, click here.

    Photo Credit: Getty Images

  • Viral Lady Gaga Parody Is a Love Letter to Coronavirus Authority ‘Docta Docta Fauci’

    Viral Lady Gaga Parody Is a Love Letter to Coronavirus Authority ‘Docta Docta Fauci’

    For more weird news, click here.

    Photo Credit: Missy Modell (YouTube)

  • India Cops Use Giant Tongs to Apprehend Criminals in the Age of Coronavirus, Don’t Try the Salad

    India Cops Use Giant Tongs to Apprehend Criminals in the Age of Coronavirus, Don’t Try the Salad

    For more weird news, click here.

    Photo Credit: Twitter

  • Mom Shocked to Discover Advertisement Claiming Her Family Was Dead from COVID-19, Spoiler Alert: They Weren’t

    Mom Shocked to Discover Advertisement Claiming Her Family Was Dead from COVID-19, Spoiler Alert: They Weren’t

    For more weird news, click here.

    Photo Credit: Chard Photo/KCAL/KCBS/CNN

  • Mom Discovers List of Sex Positions in 5-Year-Old’s ‘Frozen 2’ Diary, Child Pleads Innocence Because She Can’t Read or Write

    Mom Discovers List of Sex Positions in 5-Year-Old’s ‘Frozen 2’ Diary, Child Pleads Innocence Because She Can’t Read or Write

    For more weird news, click here.

    Photo Credit: Daily Mirror

  • Las Vegas Mayor Offers Her City as Tribute to COVID-19

    Las Vegas Mayor Offers Her City as Tribute to COVID-19

    For more weird news, click here.

    Photo Credit: Ethan Miller (Getty Images)

  • Eminem Confronts Intruder in His Detroit Home, Apparently Much Less Intimidating in His Jammies

    Eminem Confronts Intruder in His Detroit Home, Apparently Much Less Intimidating in His Jammies

    For more weird news, click here.

    Photo Credit: Macombe CSO (Getty Images)

  • Meanwhile in Florida: Helpful Criminals Assist Police with Their Own Arrest

    Meanwhile in Florida: Helpful Criminals Assist Police with Their Own Arrest

    For more weird news, click here.

    Photo Credit: Flagler County Sheriff’s Office
Nick Perkins
Nick Perkins

Share article

TRENDING
No content yet. Check back later!
Related
Load more...
X
Exit mobile version