You’re running out of excuses. Yes, you, in the MAGA hat and slightly-too-small American Flag-emblazoned tank top that stops short just above your belly button. You say it’s your right to not wear a face mask. Fine, Karen. It’s also our right to not serve you. You say it infringes on your freedom. OK, but you being an inconsiderate douchebag infringes on our freedom, so get out of our restaurant and go get your chicken tenders with ranch from somewhere else. Finally, here’s the big excuse: “I can’t breathe!”
First of all, yes you can. Quit being a drama queen. B, if that’s the hill that you want to metaphorically die on because you’re a mouth breather, allow us to introduce you to Jai Kershner, an asthmatic radio host on Beaver 100.3 and Q108, from Clarksville, Tennessee. She recently spent 38 hours in labor before getting a C-section, while wearing a mask for the entire time. Guess how many times she complained?
Go on, we’ll wait.
If you guessed zero times, you would be correct.
If I can wear a mask through 38 hours of labor, a c-section, and recovery . . . You can do it for an hour while running to the grocery store and/or other errands. #WearADamnMask
— Jai Kershner (@jaikershner) June 26, 2020
“I got home [from the hospital] and I just kept seeing people complaining about it like, ‘If you are not comfortable being around people who don’t wear masks, then don’t go out,'” Kershner later wrote. “It’s just, like, you don’t wear a mask for yourself, you wear a mask to protect each other. Right now, in society, we need to be loving on each other in every way, shape and form possible.”
It sounds like she is going to be an excellent mother. And maybe that’s what all of these supposed “tough guys” need right now — some motherly advice. In honor of that, here is the best tough-love type of motherly advice we could possibly give to those who are still refusing to wear masks to protect each other: put your mask on, keep your mouth shut, and quit being a little bitch. If this woman can wear a mask for 38 hours while delivering an actual human being into the world, you can wear one for 20 minutes while you shop at Hobby Lobby.
Cover Photo: Jai Kershner
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