You know the old saying, “Nothing in this world is certain except for death and taxes?” Well, now it’s just taxes. At least, that’s what a Detroit woman would attest to, because, earlier this month, she defied death and thumbed her nose at the afterlife. TMZ reported that earlier this month, a young woman was declared dead after paramedics performed CPR for upwards of 30 minutes. The 20-year-old was unresponsive in her home, so paramedics were called and they did their best to save her, but to no avail.
Or, was there avail? There was. There was much avail because, once the woman was pronounced dead and her the Oakland County Medical Examiner’s Office confirmed her death, a funny thing happened on the way to the funeral home. While awaiting whatever procedures must be performed at a funeral parlor, there was a slight stir. Staff at the funeral home investigated and, in a nightmare scenario for anyone who has ever been around a cadaver, it started to move! The woman, previously thought dead, was alive and breathing and, like Lazarus being raised from the pit, she stole back her life from the gods. The staff was undoubtedly terrified, but they notified the proper authorities (and, we hope, the woman’s family) and the woman was sent to a local hospital.
It’s a story with a happy, albeit strange, ending but we can only think of one thing…
What if she was going to be cremated??
Cover Photo: RichLegg, Getty Images
Four lap dances and a funeral: Basketball Star Lou Williams Leave NBA Bubble to Go to Funeral (Ends Up at Strip Club Like Any Other Funeral)
MORE WEIRD NEWS:
High on death: Funeral Mourners Get Stoned After Being Served Hash Cake At Restaurant (That’s How He Would Have Wanted to Be Remembered)
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Weird News 8/11/2020
-
Nude Man Caught Chasing Wild Boar That Stole His Laptop, A Visual That Perfectly Depicts 2020
-
Trump-Approved Doctor Touts Cure for Coronavirus; Watch Out For That Demon Semen, Though
-
Trump Finally Calls Masks Patriotic 6 Months Later While Wishing Sex Trafficking Pedophile Well, Cancel Culture Says ‘That’s Not How We Cancel Things’
-
24-Year-Old Teacher Writes Her Will Before Returning to School, Trouble Deciding to Whom She Should Leave All Her Potential
-
Woman Creates Quarantine Barbie and It’s Spot-On 2020
-
Toddler Goes Viral By Turning Himself Into Various Foods On TikTok
-
Meanwhile in Wyoming: Man Uses Samurai Sword to End Boxing Match with Best Friend
-
Rudy Giuliani Disgusted by Yankees Players Taking ‘Disgraceful’ Knee For Black Lives Matter, All This While Creating a Podcast and Going Publicly Insane
-
Basketball Star Lou Williams Leave NBA Bubble to Go to Funeral (Ends Up at Strip Club Like Any Other Funeral)
-
Trump Proposes Delaying Election on Twitter, We’d Rather Eat All Our Vegetables at Dinner
-
Meanwhile in Wyoming: Man Confesses to Sexually Assaulting Horses, No Word Yet If It Was Straight to the Horse’s Mouth
-
Spotted! Baboons Wielding Chainsaws and Knives, No Reason to Think Next Few Months Will Escalate