Well, folks, we made it. (Almost.) We (barely) survived four years of a hellish presidential administration. Now Election Day is upon us. Hopefully, you’ve already cast your ballot through early in-person voting or by absentee ballot in the mail. (If you haven’t, stop reading and go do so!) Now it’s time to sit back, watch the results come in, and pray for a miracle the size of which American politics have never seen.
Of course, we have to acknowledge that we likely won’t know the winner on Nov. 3. It could be days, weeks, even months until we know for sure who’s going to shepherd us through the next four years. The drawn-out nature of this year’s election reminded us of that cheerful holiday tune, “The 12 Days of Christmas.” So we tweaked the lyrics to fit our current political reality. Grab a few friends, a few beers, and sing this new standard along with us!
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12 Days Election
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12 Hundred Dollars Missing
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11 Hackers Hacking
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10 Years No Taxes
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9 SUPREME COURT JUSTICES
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8 Associates Indicted
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7 Months A' Social Distancing
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6-Teen Tell-Alls
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5 TEET-SUCKING TRUMPERS!
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4 Years A'Lying
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3 COVIDs Peaking
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2 Hands For Drinking
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And a Witch Hunt With No Accountability