The clock is ticking. It won’t be long until Donald and Melania Trump are escorted out of the White House, tails between their legs. OK, they probably won’t leave like that. It will be more like kicking and screaming. But come Jan. 20, 2021, they’ll need a forwarding address because new blood by the name of Joe and Jill Biden are moving into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
No matter where they go from here, the Trumps will have to downsize. That means they’ll be dumping a ton of stuff that once filled the White House. We’ve been imagining what a presidential yard sale might look like and the items one would encounter there. From the ridiculous to the practical, these are the 10 things the Trumps aren’t taking with them.
Cover Photo: OLIVIER DOULIERY / Contributor (Getty Images)
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White House Fire Sale
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Tiny Desk
It's the itty bitty desk that launched 1,000 tweets -- and now it can be yours. Start your own online concert series or just invite people over to laugh at it.
Photo: Pool (Getty Images)
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Grammatically Incorrect Ornaments
Melania Trump is the brains (we guess?) behind the 'Be Best' initiative, which makes no sense, gramatically speaking. So of course she had a gazillion unremarkable ornaments made for the White House Christmas decorations with those words. They're guaranteed to impress no one but will get the word nerds all riled up at your holiday party.
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)
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Creepy Bunny Costume
Scare all the egg-hunting rugrats off your lawn come Easter with this terrifying bunny costume!
Photo: Alex Wong (Getty Images)
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Stale Gingerbread House
Are you a crispy cookie fan? Then you'll love this stale gingerbread house made in the likeness of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue! Just don't forget a glass of milk if you want to come out of this sugar binge alive.
Photo: Drew Angerer (Getty Images)
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Big-Ass Christmas Tree
This 18-foot-tall Fraser Fir from West Virginia was displayed in the Blue Room of the White House this Christmas. Sure, by now it's a little dry, and will probably turn into a mountain of needles upon moving, but it's a piece of history!
Photo: Alex Wong (Getty Images)
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Official White House Easter Eggs
No, not those kinds of Easter eggs. Actual Easter eggs. OK, not those either. Every year, the First Lady "creates" (read: points to a design that a true artist made) a commemorative egg. They're probably pretty heavy and likely could substitute for Gwyneth Paltrow's infamous vagina egg weights. The perfect gift for your girlfriend!
Photo: Brianna Soukup/Portland Portland Press Herald (Getty Images)
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Private Ballerina
Ballerinas are in. Kanye West featured them in his "Runaway" video and now there's one frolicking through the Grand Foyer of the White House for no apparent reason. Melania won't let her husband bring him home to Florida, though, because he has a tendency to grab things he shouldn't. Buy this secondhand ballerina and make a little girl's dream come true!
Photo: SAUL LOEB/AFP (Getty Images)
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Children's Book Collection
The Trumps don't read. Not even at the children's book level. Now they need to unload a ton of kids' books purchased for photo opp purposes only. Buy them or watch them burn!
Photo by NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP (Getty Images)
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'Deplorable' Pin
Remember when Hillary Clinton called Trump supporters a "basket of deplorables"? Well, she wasn't wrong. Donald Trump Jr. took her words to heart and proudly wore a "Deplorable" lapel pin to the 140th annual Easter Egg Roll on the South Lawn of the White House in 2018. Follow his lead and wear your character flaw where everyone can see it!
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)
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'I Really Don't Care, Do U' Jacket
Melania Trump caused quite a stir when she donned this jacket after visiting detained migrant children at the U.S.-Mexico border. Wear your apathy where everyone can see it (just before they stab you in the back).
Photo: Mandel Ngan/AFP (Getty Images)
