The coronavirus vaccine is here. That’s cause for celebration (over Zoom, of course, because the threat of contracting COVID is still an ever-present danger). Except that, in the grand tradition of the U.S. fumbling situations it should have mastered by now, there isn’t enough of the vaccine to go around.
Like vying for a life raft on the Titanic, some of us (the young, healthy, non-frontline workers) are going to get left behind. Or at least neglected for a long-ass time. If we get both doses of the vaccination before the end of the year, we’ll be lucky. (If you really want to feel depressed, try this New York Times widget that’ll tell you approximately how many people are ahead of you in line.)
Getting a COVID vaccine is now the ultimate show of privilege – which is why watching health care workers and elderly celebrities bare their upper arms for “likes” kind of pisses us off. These vaccine selfies (or “vaxxies,” as they’ve been obnoxiously dubbed) are popping up all over social media. Some say that this trend is positive, because it normalizes getting vaccinated. We suppose that could be true, but we’d rather you not shove your newfound immunity in our faces. How can we not seethe with jealousy?
I got the vaccine today. Thank you science. Thank you to all who have been working on the front lines. I still remember the godsend of the polio shot, a flashback of emotion sweeps through me again. pic.twitter.com/cpqhwDlTKR
— Dan Rather (@DanRather) January 19, 2021
Today was a good day. I have never been happier to wait in a line. If you’re eligible, join me and sign up to get your vaccine. Come with me if you want to live! pic.twitter.com/xJi86qQNcm
— Arnold (@Schwarzenegger) January 20, 2021
How do we say thank you to the health workers and scientists for their sacrifice and service? Receive the vaccine as soon as one can to lessen their load and keep wearing a mask to protect fellow citizens. In my 80th year, I am grateful and hopeful for better days ahead. pic.twitter.com/emGDlnYL2E
— Patrick Stewart (@SirPatStew) January 22, 2021
My ribosomes didn’t even see it coming. #COVIDvaccinated pic.twitter.com/3HRsJoUWlA
— Jahan Fahimi, MD MPH (@JahanFahimi) December 20, 2020
Not only are the newly inoculated flexing in the slang sense, some are literally flexing when they get the vaccine.
Dear Santa,
You can skip me this year.
I’m good. pic.twitter.com/7OYLfnrsfy
— Mark Lewis (@marklewismd) December 18, 2020
Why the beaming pride? You know you didn’t do anything to deserve the vaccine, right? You didn’t climb a mountain or win an award or even cast a ballot. You were in the right place, at the right time. You were old. Or you got lucky. Does this really require photographic documentation?
Of course we want everyone to get vaccinated. The more people that do, the safer we all are. On the other hand, we also kind of don’t care if up to 50 percent of Americans are waffling on whether or not to get the shot. If you’re unsure about the safety of the COVID vaccine, with all do respect, step aside, asshole, because there are a lot of us who wholeheartedly believe in science and can’t wait to get some immunity from this motherfucking virus.
As for those who do want – and manage – to get vaccinated? Spare us your selfies. We already feel bad enough about our lame lives as is.
Cover Photo: Win McNamee / Staff (Getty Images)
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