Chick-Fil-A
A caucasian man drawing a modern, polymer, .45 caliber semiautomatic pistol from inside the waistband of his pants. Mexican carry (no holster). It's called "Mexican Carry" because the Mexican Vaqueros of the 19th cetury, when guns were outlawed in Mexico, stopped wearing holsters, and instead, started just carrying their pistols stuck into their belts.

Meanwhile in Georgia: Armed Bystander Thwarts Chick-Fil-A Robber, People Really Are Struggling Out There

As Donald Glover predicted in Atlanta, season 2, it’s robbing season at the local drive-thru. Because let’s be honest, people are really struggling out there, and when people get desperate, robbing a fried chicken joint in the middle of the day sounds like a pretty good plan. The incident occurred just after lunchtime when 23-year-old Willie Gloston IV popped into a midtown Chick-Fil-A demanding more than just a juicy sandwich.

Armed with a pistol and the remains of his 2020 misery, he demanded all the cash in the registers and fled into the parking lot. But it turned out to be an unlucky day (or just poor planning) for this would-be robber as people nearby, hearing the commotion, chased after him. We’re not sure what the thief’s getaway plan was, but after an armed bystander fired two warning shots into the air, the jig was up. The bystander then held Gloston at gunpoint until police arrived and took him to Fulton County Jail.

Chick-Fil-A has been in the news a lot in recent years, sometimes for putting unwanted toppings on their sandwiches, but also for experiencing a rash of armed robberies. In February, a Washington D.C. location was hit by a lone gunman who also failed in his filching when an armed security guard took him down hard.

The reality is, crime is on the rise across America as millions of people suffer from unemployment, hunger, and low morale. And unfortunately, unlike the good old days of yore, an overpriced yet scrumptious chicken sandy made by a slightly racist, homophobic fast-food chain just isn’t cutting it anymore.

Cover Photo: RonBailey (Getty Images)

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