Honesty is the best policy – at least, it appears to be when it comes to dog adoption ads. Just take the case of a Chihuahua named Prancer. His foster owner, Tyfanee Fortuna, posted photos, video, and a description of the tiny canine on Facebook in the hopes of finding a forever home for him.
“I’ve tried for the last several months to post this dog for adoption and make him sound… palatable,” she wrote. “The problem is, he’s just not. There’s not a very big market for neurotic, man hating, animal hating, children hating dogs that look like gremlins. But I have to believe there’s someone out there for Prancer, because I am tired and so is my family. Every day we live in the grips of the demonic Chihuahua hellscape he has created in our home.”
This is the best thing I’ve read in awhile. pic.twitter.com/rdn3X6GeWH
— Hot Little Mongoose (@HLMongoose) April 9, 2021
Some of the words she used to describe the problematic pooch were “haunted Victorian child,” “Chucky doll in a dog’s body,” and “50% hate and 50% tremble.”
In hindsight, Fortuna should’ve known what a little devil the dog would turn out to be. He arrived at her home obese, dressed in a cashmere sweater, with a bacon, egg, and cheese stowed away in his crate. Fortuna soon learned that Prancer had never been socialized with his previous owner, an elderly woman. He doesn’t get along with other animals, hates men, and can’t be trusted around children.
“He’s never been in the presence of a child, but I can already imagine the demonic noises and shaking fury that would erupt from his body if he was,” Fortuna wrote. “Prancer wants to be your only child.”
It’s not all bad news, however; Prancer is housebroken, knows a few commands, enjoys car rides, and can be left home alone without any issue. He also “smiles” when excited.
While not exactly a glowing recommendation, the adoption ad was effective. Second Chance Pet Adoption League, the New Jersey agency in charge of placing Prancer, has been overwhelmed with inquiries about Prancer from all over the country. It’s only a matter of time until he’s adopted.
Fortuna added one more caveat, however: Prancer is a mere 2 years old…and Chihuahuas live up to 20 years old, so whoever adopts him better be in it for the long haul – and have some superhuman patience…
Cover Photo: Second Chance Pet Adoption League
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