Wipe that sweat off your brow, we made it through another week of madness. More and more people may be putting Twitter down to escape from the daily doom updates, and in doing so they could be missing out on some of the hilarity that is still out there trying to make the world not seem so glum. Thankfully you have us, and it’s Friday, which means it’s once again time for the funniest tweets of the week! If you were unfortunate to miss our last collection of tweets, not to worry, you poor bastard. We’re here for you if you need us. Now, catch up on all the Twitter insanity here then be sure to follow us on Twitter @Mandatory.
It’s not the Devil’s Lettuce; it’s God’s Kale. Remember that.
— Jim Belushi (@JimBelushi) January 22, 2022
I’m at a hotel in the 90s! pic.twitter.com/TW9vbO7dCg
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) January 21, 2022
https://twitter.com/SteenaSalido/status/1486039602720690177?s=20&t=7NGaokWnLCIEYE0KYksouA
I'm trending on Twitter and didn't even die. How fucking cool is that?
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) January 24, 2022
https://twitter.com/JenKirkman/status/1485417634468438023?s=20&t=7NGaokWnLCIEYE0KYksouA
do any recipes call for five old bananas
— Chelsea Peretti (@chelseaperetti) January 22, 2022
Shout out to the top 5 bars in the world, none, code, t Simpson, Mitzvah and becue.
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) January 27, 2022
I just turned 53. On a Thursday. My “You Are Only Allowed 20 Birthdays” principle doubly applies. Gonna sit around in sweatpants and watch samurai films.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 27, 2022
“Do I still need to wear a mask in the store?”
Link in bio for CA tour dates and merch! pic.twitter.com/QSJOugkV9d
— Scott Seiss (@ScottSeiss) January 25, 2022
This looks like Wile E. Coyote trying to catch a hypochondriac Roadrunner: pic.twitter.com/ggYesIb3dX
— Frank Lesser (@sadmonsters) January 24, 2022
You guys know these are cheeseburgers and not an entertainment center from IKEA, right?
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) January 27, 2022
One of my biggest hobbies is not spending money on hobbies.
— Matt Shirley (@mattsurely) January 27, 2022
help this pandemic has lasted so long I’m actually getting good at my day job
— erin tracy (@erintracycomedy) January 27, 2022
If Kid Rock really does run for the US Senate I promise I will run against him.
After changing my name to "Kid Paper."
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 26, 2022
For the record, I condemn all condemnable tweets, speeches, letters, conversations, thoughts & ideas. Please join me in this condemnation. Only by condemning can we rid the world of those things that should clearly be condemned. Those who don’t condemn are themselves condemnable.
— Pat Sajak (@patsajak) January 26, 2022
