Just when you thought a Zuckerberg couldn’t ruin your day any more than they already have, Mark’s sister drops a music video. And the Adele-inspired track is both a savage attack on eardrums everywhere and a powerful argument for why crypto sisses are already worse than crypto bros.
You may have never heard of Randi Zuckerberg but you definitely know her billionaire brother and the signature family charm they both exude despite their haircuts. And now you can really hear Randi as she celebrates all that is crypto in a stirring rendition of ‘Hello’ that painfully breaks down the ins and outs of digital currencies known as decentralized finance.
De-Fi, as the kids over 40 call it, is the wave of the future. A fuck-you-to-Wall-Street economy bolstered by renegade groups like Facebook and Goldman Sachs. Oh yeah, and every single celebrity and rich-kid artist on the planet.
As Randi so kindly explains in her mezzo-soprano caterwaul, crypto is easy, fool-proof, and the best thing to happen to humans since cover songs. But can someone please explain why she has to use an oscillating fan in every shot before lashing her tongue out like some kind of musical lizard woman?
Anyway, before we get into the weeds on Randi’s stage style, see the birth of the “crypto sis” for yourself. And get ready to pop some champers. Because nothing signifies the “amazing moment we’re in” quite like a video that’ll simultaneously ruin your appetite and make you need a hug from a random stranger just to know you’re still alive.
https://twitter.com/randizuckerberg/status/1494416366710910992
No doubt, crypto is here to stay. In fact, this is only the beginning. But if this video is what the metaverse has in store, count us out. We prefer Catholicism’s version of hell.
Cover Photo: Twitter
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