When it comes to turning heads on the road, size matters. And that is why the longest car in the world had to measure a whopping 100 feet 1.5 inches to make it into the Guinness Book of World Records. But if you asked the owner, he probably wishes it was just an inch or two longer.
Penis jokes aside, while you were busy learning how to make sourdough bread and watching reruns of Seinfeld, Michael Manning was resurrecting The American Dream. Not the promise of a better life for hardworking people, but the rusted-out Cadillac Eldorado (erected in 1986), that’d been left for dead in a Southern California parking lot.
After someone split the car in two and shipped it cross-country, Manning spotted it at an autobody show in New Jersey. The attraction was instant. “It was garbage. It was covered in graffiti, the windows were broken, the tires were flat, but I fell in love with it anyway,” recalled Manning.
Sadly, after taking the big daddy caddy home, Manning ran into financial issues and was forced to list the vehicle on eBay. That’s when Florida-based car collector Michael Dezer stepped in to give the car a new home. Together, the pair lovingly restored The American Dream to its former glory, updating ultra-lux features like a helipad, a putting green, and a swimming pool. The car also boasts an unlockable hinge in the middle in case whoever’s driving wants to go half chub.
The car is now on display at Dezerland Park Car Museum in Orlando because according to Manning, “You really couldn’t put it on the road because it’s too long.”
Weird. That’s not what she said.
See the stunning before and after videos below and bask in the dysfunctionally grandiose ode to excess (that has absolutely nothing to do with penis envy) called The American Dream.
Cover Photo: YouTube
Weird News 3.1.22
-
US House Candidate Gets Drunk and Vomits Mid-Rant at Pre-Teen Sleepover, And You Have Our Vote
More weird news.
Photo: Instagram
-
Meanwhile in Louisiana: Teacher Who Fed Students Semen-Laced Cupcakes Sentenced to 41 Years, Not Likely Allowed to Work the Cafeteria
More weird news.
Photo: Livingston Parish Sheriff’s Office
-
Ukrainian Beauty Queen Joins Fight Against Russian Invasion (If Looks Could Kill…)
More weird news.
Photo: Instagram
-
First FDA-Authorized Condoms For Anal Sex Come in 54 Different Sizes (Consider Us Aroused and Confused)
More weird news.
Photo: ONE Condoms
-
Forensic Detectives Pinpoint QAnon Founder and You’ll Never Guess Who It Is (Hint: Not Mike Lindell)
More weird news.
Photo: OLIVIER TOURON (Getty Images)
-
Meanwhile in Ohio: Mayor Declares Ice Fishing Leads to Prostitution (Only Similarity We See Are the Holes, Mr. Mayor)
More weird news.
Photo: Neniya (Getty Images)
-
McDonald’s Enters Metaverse, Could Promise Free NFT With Every Heart Disease
More weird news.
Photo: Justin Sullivan / Staff (Getty Images)
-
Watch Mark Zuckerberg’s Sister Become First ‘Crypto Sis’ With Her Cringeworthy Music Video, Awful Runs in the Family
More weird news.
Photo: Twitter
-
Botch Job: 37-Year-Old Virgin Gets 6-Foot String Stuck in Penis During Sex Game, Pretty Sure He Lost (Also, How Old Is This Virgin?)
More weird news.
Photo: Koldunova_Anna (Getty Images)
-
Donald Trump ‘Truth Social’ Launches Despite Not Being Fully Operational, Follows Pattern of Every Sexual Encounter He’s Ever Had
More weird news.
Photo: DON EMMERT (Getty Images)
