Loch Ness monster swimming in the lake.

Ecology Professor Believes Photos of Loch Ness Monster Actually Just Ultimate Dick Pic

An ecology professor has come up with a pretty bizarre theory surrounding the origin of Scotland’s famed Loch Ness Monster. Michael Sweet, a molecular ecology professor at the University of Derby, sent a series of tweets that say “Nessie” isn’t a monster at all but rather a massive whale penis. A one-eyed monster, perhaps?

The general public’s interest in the Loch Ness Monster, simply known as Nessie, began in the 1930s with the publication of the infamous “Surgeon’s Photo,” which was later revealed to be a hoax.

In his efforts to turn an epic and mysterious tale of appendages breaking the ocean surface into a bad phallic joke, Sweet thinks “it was just whale dicks.”

Nessie was not available to say whether its tentacles are a massive whale penis, but this appears to be yet another theory to emerge about Nessie.  In 2019, researchers believed the creature was actually a giant eel and one Scottish man claimed it was merely a giant catfish. Both of those theories seem more acceptable than a whale dick.

So one has to think Sweet was posting this merely in jest given the tedium of his job. After all, Loch Ness is a freshwater lake and it seems very unlikely that a whale can live or survive there. Regardless, we don’t think this will be the end of experts weighing in on Nessie.

So tune in next year to find out if the Loch Ness Monster is just a giraffe taking a swim.

Cover Image: Gremlin (Getty Images)
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