The Big List: Breaking Government! iOS 7 Waterproofs Your Phone?

Time to buy an iPhone, upgrade it to iOS 7, read that the new operating system makes it waterproof, take your iPhone to a waterpark, check your email in a wave pool, take it to the Genius Bar to get a repair and ask “what the hell,” scream “4chan!” to the heavens in the parking lot and check out these links!

Story Of Small Businessman Struggling Under Obama Administration Draws To Close (The Onion)

http://www.theonion.com/video/story-of-small-businessman-struggling-under-obama,34037/

Old Proverb: As Breaking Bad goes, so goes the government’s ability to function.

4chan Tricked Some iPhone Users Into Thinking iOS 7 Makes It Waterproof

http://cheezburger.com/7819805184

That’s funny, but iPhones are fire proof now, right?

25 Clever Group Halloween Costumes

http://www.buzzfeed.com/alannaokun/clever-halloween-costumes-to-wear-as-a-group

Murray Murray, oh baby / Me gotta go (as Bill Murray this year)

Why Music Sounds Bad

http://news.cnet.com/8301-13645_3-57605536-47/an-inconvenient-truth-why-music-sounds-bad/

Cool. Now can you explain why kids today won’t get off my damn lawn?

Here Is The Short GOP Quote That Perfectly Defines The Shutdown

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2013/10/here-is-the-short-gop-quote-that-perfectly-defines-the-shutdown/280220/

We have to get something… like a brand new car!

That’s all for this this shutdown edition of The Big List!

Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans!

Comedy Channel Contributor

Geoffrey Golden is a writer AND a fighter from West Hollywood, CA. He's the Editor in Chief of The Devastator, "The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans," sold in bookstores across the country. Geoffrey has also written for a bunch of magically glamorous Hollywood movie studios and websites, including Fox, Warner Bros, CraveOnline, Cracked, Comedy.com, National Lampoon and Lionsgate. As for his fighting experience, Geoffrey has faced off for both the Marvel and Capcom teams, but thinks Ryu and Wolverine should bury the hatchet already.