Dude Sends Wife Spreadsheet Detailing Every Time She Denied Him Sex

This guy might have the biggest stones in the history of mankind.

According to Gawker, a fed-up husband sent his wife a spreadsheet via email yesterday in which he documents every time she denied his sexual advances over the last seven weeks.

According to the husband’s spreadsheet, he tried to have sex with his “lover” on 27 separate occasions over the seven-week period, and he was successful just three times. Some of the excuses he was given are laugh-out-loud hysterical, including:

I’m watching the show (Friends re-run).

​I feel sweaty and gross, I need a shower (didn’t shower until next morning).

I’m too drunk and I ate too much.

I still don’t feel 100%.

The lack of success led him to create the spreadsheet for his wife, who in turn posted it to Reddit. She explained that her husband left her the spreadsheet and told her he wouldn’t miss her for the ten days he was gone. She then asked, “Why is he putting me through this? What the hell am I supposed to do?”

Um, probably have sex with him.

These people on Reddit are actually getting their plow on: People on Reddit Described Their First Sexual Experience in Hilarious SFW GIFs

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