Turkeys are a tricky bird to cook. How they got to be the go-to main course at Thanksgiving, we’ll never know. For many people isolated at home and away from their families this year because of the COVID-19 pandemic, it will be the first time they attempt the terrifying feat of cooking a turkey.
If you’re a turkey virgin concerned about how your bird is going to turn out, you’re not alone. And there’s an insurance plan for that.
Say what? Insurance for a Thanksgiving turkey? Yup. In a country where we can’t even figure out how to get every American health insurance, there’s a plan to protect your Thanksgiving feast. (Of course there is.)
Whole Foods and Progressive are joining forces to offer Americans a “Thanksgiving Turkey Protection Plan.” The coverage is available to people who buy a Whole Foods Market brand turkey in-store or online before Nov. 22. If a culinary disaster strikes on Nov. 26 or 27, just head over to TurkeyProtectionPlan.com, submit a photo and description of your turkey tragedy plus your receipt. Whole Foods will review your claim and send you a $35 gift card if they think your holiday fail warrants it.
If you are one of the unfortunate folks who fuck-up Thanksgiving dinner, you better act fast, though, because only 1,000 people are eligible for the program (and you know there’s going to be a lot more than 1,000 turkey mishaps on Thanksgiving).
“The Thanksgiving Turkey Protection Plan allows customers the freedom of culinary exploration, knowing all is not lost should their cooking go astray,” Theo Weening, vice president of meat and poultry at Whole Foods Market said in a statement. “We want to help customers rise to the occasion and take on that turkey with confidence for less-stressed Thanksgiving meal preparation.”
While this is an attention-getting marketing ploy, if you’re so concerned about your cooking skills that you need to insure your bird, maybe consider buying one already prepared instead? Otherwise, you’ll be the turkey come Thanksgiving time.
Cover Photo: Beau Lark/Corbis/VCG (Getty Images)
COVID Cravings: 10 Weird Foods You’re Suddenly Into (And What Science Has to Say About It)
MORE WEIRD NEWS:
Ranked: The Worst Foods to Eat Before You Bone
Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Weird News 10-07-2020
-
News Anchor Accidentally Says Another Member of White House Tests Positive For Cocaine, Well He May Not Be Wrong
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: YouTube
-
Three-Legged Bear Caught on Camera Stealing Diet Coke From Garage, Can’t Taste the Feeling
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Getty Images
-
8 Evil Ways the 2020 Presidential Election Will Be Ridiculous and Unprecedented
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Chip Somodevilla / Staff and Drew Angerer / Staff (Getty Images)
-
Secret Man Cave Found Under NYC Grand Central Terminal, Still Awaiting Our Invitation to For Distant Group Hang
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: MTA
-
Jaime Harrison Runs Circles Around Lindsey Graham in South Carolina Senate Debate (Watch This Pillsbury Doughboy Get Cooked!)
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: CNN
-
The Best Reaction Tweets to Trump’s COVID-19 Diagnosis
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Scott Olson / Staff (Getty Images)
-
Trending #FatBearWeek Pits Bears Against One Another in Adorable Body-Shaming Event
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Sergey Kulikov (Getty Images)
-
Rick Moranis Attacked on New York City Street (Nobody Attacks Rick Moranis in My Country!)
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: DCPI
-
Oh, Baby! Pregnant Woman Saves Husband From Shark Attack
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Stephen Frink (Getty Images)
-
Trump’s Pathetic Hospital Parade Is a Sad Reminder That Toxic Masculinity Doesn’t Do Sick Days
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: CNN
-
Make America Horny Again: Sex Shop Gives Away Patriotic Vibrators to Encourage Voter Participation
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: SWNS
-
‘Get Your Booty to the Poll’ PSA Uses Strippers to Motivate Voters, We Vote Yes!
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: YouTube
