Photo: Smitizen
If you’re anything like us, while spending most of the last year stuck at home, you didn’t find a lot of time to work out. Also, since stress and anxiety are known to be catalysts for binge eating carb-filled, calorically ridiculous snacks, we can only assume you might have packed on a few pounds during the pandemic. Even if your gym is open again, the odds are you’re a little sheepish to visit it for fear that you won’t gain admittance because your new fat face doesn’t even remotely resemble the thin, muscular face on your membership card. Don’t worry, you don’t need to work out to look swole. All you need is a super-realistic muscle suit.
If you simply want the appearance of a ripped bod, visit Chinese commercial site Taobao and grab yourself a muscle suit from Smitizen brand. And we know what you’re thinking — this isn’t a cheesy, foam-filled, over-the-top costume.
No, this suit is silicone-based and molded to look like you have rippling, vein-filled biceps, abs, and everything else that takes way too much self-control to gain in real life.
The 100% medical-grade silicone suits are selling for upwards of $100 so you will have to pay a little bit to purchase that perfect beach bod this summer. They come as upper, lower, or full-body casts. Just remember that since they’re made of silicone, you probably wouldn’t want to stay out in the sun too long rocking your glistening glutes in your board shorts. They probably don’t really breathe very well and you might have a remarkably sweaty, uncomfortable afternoon.
Mandatory 420: The 10 Dankest Cannabis Drinks to Celebrate (As If It’s the Only Day People Like to Get Altered)
Meanwhile in Oklahoma: Doritos Junkie Steals Chip Truck, Leads Police on 100-Mile Chase Only to Find Cool Ranch Not a Real Place
Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Weird News 4.15.2021
-
Woman Joins OnlyFans After Boyfriend Calls Her Unattractive, Makes $45K a Month (Getting Rich Is the Best Revenge)
-
10 Years From Now: Anything You Can Do, Sex Dolls Will Soon Do Better
-
Penises Are Getting Smaller Due to Pollution, Study Says ‘Yeah That Excuse Should Work Awhile For Ya’
-
Naked Woman Pulled From Sewer After Being Trapped 3 Weeks, Some People Will Do Anything For a Vacation These Days
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Mother and Daughter Rig Homecoming Queen Election, That’s Going to Make For Some Awkward Yearbook Messages
-
Meanwhile in China: City Bans Stripping Game For Newlyweds, Begging the Question ‘What Is a Reception Now?’
-
15 Best Twitter Reactions to Hunter Biden Admitting He Smoked Parmesan Cheese
-
The Matt Gaetz Guide to Acing Your Sexual Misconduct Quiz While Looking Like a Groundhog
-
Meanwhile in Iceland: People Are Roasting Marshmallows Over Hot Lava, Jealous Americans Now Want Their Own Erupting Volcano
-
Meanwhile in Vegas: Model Brain-Damaged After Eating Pretzel Awarded $29.5 Million (But Did the Prosecutor Check to See If She Wasn’t Damaged the Evening Prior?)
-
Tattoo Studio Specializes in Disappearing Ink, Perfect Solution For That Tramp Stamp You’ve Been Debating
-
The Mandatory Guide to the Downward Spiral of Trump’s New Gig Life