Time to become a famous pop singer way too young, do a lot of stupid s***, get in a lot of trouble with the police for doing all that stupid s***, get arrested, possibly (and hilariously) get sent back to your home country, feel humiliated when your parents give you a “time out” for what you’ve done and check out these links!
Justin Bieber Arrested In Miami For DUI, Reportedly Told Police He Had Taken Marijuana
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20778929,00.html
Above: First photo of the arrest. [via]
How To Watch Super Bowl XLVIII Online
http://www.theverge.com/2014/1/23/5337626/how-to-watch-super-bowl-xlviii-online
Cut the cord? You can still get the game.
Where The American Dream Is Dead And Buried
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/23/american-dream-dead_n_4651337.html
Dark red means there’s little economic mobility, light beige means there’s more, and orange means there’s treasure buried there!
The Sad World Of Adults Pretending To Be Kids For Retweets
Table conversation: 7 yr old daughter: next year I’ll be 8. 4 yr old daughter: I’ll be 5. Me: I’ll be 40. 2 yr old son: I’ll be Darth Vader.
— Joe Abercrombie (@LordGrimdark) January 7, 2014
http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/the-sad-world-of-adults-pretending-to-be-kids-for-retweets
Adults tweet that kids say the darndest things.
For Sale: The Ugliest Super-Rare Videogame Of All-Time
http://www.wired.com/gamelife/2014/01/nwc-gray-mario/
This is the video game equivalent of someone wiping their ass with a Mickey Mantle rookie card.
That’s all for this this arrested edition of The Big List!
Geoffrey Golden is a bestselling author and Editor-in-Chief of The Devastator comedy magazine.
