If you’re anything like us, you’re officially bored to death in dire need of funny tweets. To celebrate another Friday (and surviving the endless madness of coronavirus quarantine), we’ve got a new collection for you below. If you missed our last Tweets of the Week, you missed a lot, but this week’s lockdown included the continuation of our social-distancing saga, Cuomo-sexuals falling deeper in love with New York’s governor, Fauci bobbleheads dolls and Bat Appreciation Day, along with Jeffrey Epstein definitely not killing himself. As always, we’re here if you need us. Now catch up on all the Twitter insanity here, then, of course, follow us on Twitter or our name isn’t @Mandatory.
WHO FLEW WITH CRABS?! pic.twitter.com/c0cux6Jyyi
— Reese Waters (@reesewaters) April 16, 2020
This quarantine is really challenging my narrative that I dress “for myself”
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) March 23, 2020
next time me and the homies can hang out pic.twitter.com/fUuP0U9W1y
— johnny (@johnnycastronow) April 13, 2020
Reposting birthday wishes in your Instagram Stories is one step away from going door to door to show people your birthday cards
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) April 13, 2020
Wisconsin Primary Voters Receive ‘I Voted’ Gravestones https://t.co/9oy10KTQo1 pic.twitter.com/Ke76tDjlXo
— The Onion (@TheOnion) April 7, 2020
(Coughing violently) thank god for the spinning boat https://t.co/a0MA8igHSg
— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) April 17, 2020
https://twitter.com/megelison/status/1250827616438947840?s=20
https://twitter.com/AmbJohnBoIton/status/1248016914955161600?s=20
https://twitter.com/bryonceee_/status/1250892822653394946?s=20
[first day as a therapist] you need to fucking chill
— Olly iConic (@OllyiConic) April 16, 2020
https://twitter.com/ossiyuh/status/1250450052407050240?s=20
https://twitter.com/stayfrea_/status/1250853164791693313?s=20
Before vs. After
Quarantine Quarantine pic.twitter.com/iXJXJ8fyW4— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) April 16, 2020
https://twitter.com/bowohtt/status/1250326561078702080?s=20
Gotta hunch Steve Mnuchin is a shitty tipper…. https://t.co/AKyufAcWZe
— Bradley Whitford (@BradleyWhitford) April 15, 2020
I'd absolutely watch a TV show where Steve Mnuchin and his wife were forced to survive on $1,200 for 10 weeks. https://t.co/3GaDj2zaTp
— batkaren (@batkaren) April 16, 2020
polite of a man pic.twitter.com/REAwtWxm0R
— eelton fa n acount (@meleckle) April 14, 2020
I saw an online tutorial about how to make masks from old clothes, so I cut up this old pair of shorts! I had to hand sew it, and it came out too small, but it's not bad for a first try! What do you think? pic.twitter.com/ZFvFmh97xz
— Adam Ellis (@adamtotscomix) April 15, 2020
Young American Forced to Find Hobby Without Sports, Travel and Work Weighing Him Down
‘TMNT’ Movie Turns 30: Meet ‘Middle-Aged Millennial Ninja Turtles’
Weird News 3-12-2020
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Calvin Klein Releases Gender Neutral Fragrance, Likely Smells Like Water and Conformity
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Photo Credit: Calvin Klein
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New ‘All the Streams’ Lets Cheapskates Watch Streaming Services For Free (Like Watching Cable at Your Parents’)
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Photo Credit: shironosov (Getty Images)
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Shame Cone is the Latest Coronavirus Prevention Product (For You, Not the Dog)
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Photo Credit: globalmoments (Getty Images)
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Pearl Necklaces (Not That Kind) Are Quickly Becoming the Must-Have Accessory for Men in 2020
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Photo Credit: Nathan Congleton/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank (Getty Images)
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Joaquin Phoenix About to Marry Fiancee Rooney Mara, Wedding Goers Just Glad the Groom Isn’t Expected to Give Speech
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Photo Credit: Pascal Le Segretain / Staff (Getty Images)
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Coronavirus Porn Is the Latest Guilty Pleasure, Quaran-Teens in Your Area (Legal Ones, Of Course)
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Photo Credit: Fuse (Getty Images)
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Toilet Paper Alternatives to Cover Your Ass During the Coronavirus Panic
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Photo Credit: Darren Fast (Getty Images)
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Everything Coronavirus Has Ruined So Far
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Photo Credit: mediaphotos (Getty Images)
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Adrien Brody Dating Harvey Weinstein’s Ex-Wife, Likely Preparing for Role in Horror Show With Boobytraps
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Photo Credit: Drew Altizer Photography (Shutterstock), Dave Benett (Getty Images)
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Police Chief Stripped of Duties, Decides to Strip His Clothing As Well
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Photo Credit: John Summer (Getty Images)
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Meanwhile in Florida: Monkeys Have Their Own Virus to Contend With, Incidentally They Know More About It Than Mike Pence Does About Ours
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Photo Credit: Jeremy Woodhouse (Getty Images)
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Hand Sanitizer Prices Skyrocket Amid Coronavirus, Our Cheap DIY Suggestions to Avoid Getting Scammed
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Photo Credit: matspersson0 (Getty Images)
