First things first: your dog doesn’t need a Facebook account. Really, what’s he going to do with it? Private message that poodle from the park? Build a fan base over his sweater collection? Show off his freshly shampooed fur? We clearly don’t see eye-to-eye with Emily Doucet, a 33-year-old Seattle woman who felt the need to create an account on the social media platform for her dog, Max.
Look at this peaceful piece of sh*t pic.twitter.com/qovgZerXUM
— soccerbabe2003 (@realemilyattack) May 8, 2020
Doucet swears she doesn’t use the account often, and we just might believe her, as she recently got locked out of it. Per Facebook’s policy, she was asked to provide Max’s government-issued ID or driver’s license to unlock the account…which she obviously doesn’t have because, hello, Max is a dog and dogs don’t need Facebook accounts. (Have we been over this before?)
“I have no choice but to teach him how to drive,” Doucet tweeted about the request.
When contacted by BuzzFeed, Facebook stated that accounts are for human users only and that owners should create pages for their pets instead. “As noted in the policy rationale, we believe that people are more accountable for their statements and actions when they use their authentic identities, which is why we require that people use the name they go by in everyday life,” Facebook spokesperson Ruchika Budhraja said.
Doucet’s dilemma soon went viral, and the internet came to her rescue, offering doctored doggy driver’s licenses. We say, let’s call the whole thing off. Facebook is enough of a narcissistic humble brag machine without your dog chiming (err…barking) in, too. And, honestly, he just isn’t that cute.
Cover Photo: bmcent1 (Getty Images)
Doggone it: What If Dogs Could End a Relationship With Their Owners
MORE NEWS:
Spoiled rotten: Food Trucks For Dogs Are Here, Don’t Act Surprised
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Best News Listicle April 3 2020
-
Boss Working From Home Gives New Meaning to the Term ‘Couch Potato’ During Video Conference
-
Doing Their Part: 6 Organizations Helping Those in Need During the Coronavirus Outbreak
-
The Repopularizing of the Drive-In Theater Marks a Return to Simpler Times
-
We Needed This: You Can Now Order Girl Scout Cookies Online
-
8 Inspirational Stories of Communities Coming Together During the Pandemic
-
Inspire: John Krasinski Makes ‘Some’ Things Better With ‘Some Good News,’ Celebrating 15 Years of ‘The Office’
-
Soul Food: Cambridge, Massachusetts Mayor Pays Local Restaurants to Feed the Homeless
-
Hilariously Creative Bakers Want You to Have Your Toilet Paper and Eat It, Too
-
New Yorkers Throwing ‘Corona Potlucks,’ Going to Need All the Luck They Can Get
-
Heroic Dog Delivers Curbside Wine During Coronavirus Lockdown
-
Sheriff Capitalizes on Netflix’s ‘Tiger King’ Popularity to Reopen Cold Case
-
Tipping Point: Fireball Just Opened The World’s Biggest (Metaphorical) Tip Jar for Unemployed Food and Beverage Service Workers