If not for the chicken scratches on our bedroom walls, how else would we know it’s time for this week’s funniest tweets? To commemorate another one in the can (and surviving the endless coronavirus isolation), we’ve got another funny collection for you. As always, we’re here if you need us. Now, catch up on all the Twitter insanity here, then, of course, follow us on Twitter or our name isn’t @Mandatory.
If there is a scandal involving Christina Applegate, what would they call it?
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) May 22, 2020
I have completely lost my ability to tell time. I just calculated how long ago something happened by how many times I’ve cut my toe nails.
— Armie Hammer (@armiehammer) May 22, 2020
Gather ye moustaches while ye may. pic.twitter.com/8ddLyW9aLx
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) May 22, 2020
The Beagles https://t.co/Rn7IRu1eIY
— Mark Hamill (@MarkHamill) May 22, 2020
[my first day as arson investigator]
detective: *looking at burned down house* what do you think it was
me: a fire, jesus christ keep up
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) May 22, 2020
it’s not done but they having the time of they lives https://t.co/hl5lrg5TSM pic.twitter.com/F8TUnlvJFp
— kz? (@briazhanelle) May 21, 2020
8 million Americans missed rent in May. https://t.co/uEdGwrlhcV
— Julián Castro (@JulianCastro) May 22, 2020
so my dog jumped out of my window today… pic.twitter.com/6WezZlxuON
— haylie (@hayliediazz) May 21, 2020
we are now drive thru only
— . (@SuiNeltwork) May 22, 2020
https://twitter.com/fro_vo/status/1263640182869327873?s=20
https://twitter.com/PaigerU_/status/1263148939672510465?s=20
https://twitter.com/daxshepard/status/1263684110691692545?s=20
Thank god for nighttime when you can stop feeling bad about not doing things and pretend that tomorrow you will do things
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) May 22, 2020
https://twitter.com/juliussharpe/status/1263536578527244288?s=20
‘TMNT’ Movie Turns 30: Meet ‘Middle-Aged Millennial Ninja Turtles’
Mandatory Good News 5 15 20
-
Mandatory Good News: Little Girl’s Thank-You Letter to Postal Worker Gets Massive Response From Across the Country
For more good news, click here.
Photo: myshkovsky (Getty Images)
-
Coronavirus Won’t Stop Annual Naked Bike Ride in Portland, Oregon (Maybe Wear a Mask, Though)
For more good news, click here.
Photo: Natalie Behring / Stringer (Getty Images)
-
Craft Beer Week Couldn’t Come at a Better Time, Support Local Brew or Be Watered Down Forever
For more good news, click here.
Photo: izusek (Getty Images)
-
RANKED! The 15 Best Virtual TV Reunions of Quarantine
For more good news, click here.
Photo: NBC
-
Cowabunga! The Cast of ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Is Having a Zoom Pizza Party to Celebrate the Film’s 30th Anniversary
For more good news, click here.
Photo: New Line Cinema
-
Mandatory Good News: NYC Hospital Staff Gets Free Vacations as Thank-You Gift For Coronavirus Work
For more good news, click here.
Photo: LightFieldStudios (Getty Images)
-
Families Get Free ‘Porchtraits’ From Professional Photographers During Pandemic, Say ‘Quarantine!’
For more good news, click here.
Photo: Jacobs Stock Photography Ltd
-
Man Posts Daily Dad Joke On His Front Lawn, So Funny They Could Cut Through Grass
For more good news, click here.
Photo: Tom Schruben
