Meanwhile in China: Birthday Parties Banned to Promote Frugality, Hopefully Trend Lands in US Before My String of Summer Gatherings

Birthdays are like assholes. Everyone has one and they’re not as fun as they look. Luckily, China is putting a stop to all this festive madness by banning birthday parties, and we couldn’t be more on board.

The drastic measure, which also includes celebrations for job promotions and housewarmings, is a directive from the central government in an attempt to curtail spending, corruption, and presumably,…

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