Gender reveal parties are the worst thing since someone dropped sliced bread into a pile of dogshit. But for some reason, people keep having them and people keep getting hurt.
In February, a New York man was killed in an explosion while building a bomb to announce the gender of his firstborn child. Earlier that month, a Michigan father-to-be was killed when a “celebratory cannon” blew up during his baby’s gender reveal party. But these cautionary tales didn’t stop a New Hampshire man from lighting the fuse on his own 80-pound baby bomb.
Anthony Spinelli brought a hefty payload of Tannerite to an open quarry near the Massachusetts state line to celebrate the reveal of his baby’s gender in style. Tannerite, as you know, is the binary explosive most commonly used in target practice but now comes in gender reveal colors. (Lucky us.) In front of a crowd of partygoers, Spinneli set off his 80-pound bundle of joy, which exploded with such force, neighbors in the area thought it was an earthquake.
After police arrived, partygoers admitted they had set off the bomb as part of the festivities and Spinelli was promptly booked down at the station. Lucky for him, since the detonation took place in the middle of an empty quarry across from a cement mixing plant, no one was injured. Still, Spinelli was charged with disorderly conduct for scaring the bejeezus out of the neighbors and released back into the wild where he will now face the wrath of his baby mama.
The moral of the story is: If you have to do something incredibly pointless and stupid, at least have the sense to do it in the middle of a quarry where no one ever goes because it’s a horrible, desolate place to hang out, especially for a party.
But more to the point, if you’re about to become a parent, why not ditch the explosives and try not to get yourself killed for at least a couple of decades? Despite your better judgment, that kid’s going to want his dad around to open pickle jars for him someday and bail him out of jail when he lights a bomb in the middle of a goddamn quarry.
Cover Photo: Jupiterimages (Getty Images)
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