Polishing the Turd: Facebook So Toxic Zuckerberg Reportedly Might Change Its Name (8 Guesses For a Suitable Replacement)

Facebook is where social media basically began, but it appears an end is in sight – at least for its iconic name. The company – and its CEO Mark Zuckerberg – have come under intense scrutiny lately because of the rapid-fire spread of misinformation and hate speech on the platform. But rather than address those problems, Facebook and the social media apps it owns, including Instagram and WhatsApp, may become subsidiaries of another, totally new company.

The rebranding is a transparent attempt to wash the stink off the site, which has become a breeding ground for bad actors. And yet, they’re probably going to try to spin this as one step closer to Zuckerberg’s goal of “building the metaverse” (whatever that means).

Rumor has it the new name will be revealed at or before Facebook’s Connect conference on Oct. 28. Rather than wait and see what the marketing geniuses come up with, we’ve brainstormed eight of our own ideas, based on how people actually use the platform.

These are our guesses for a suitable name replacement for Facebook.