Just what we need…more technology! If you thought Google Glass — that smart eyewear that never got off the ground — was obnoxious and unnecessary, wait until you hear about SilentSpeller. It’s a wearable device that lets you send mobile, hands-free, silent texts.
The high-tech retainer relies on the user’s tongue to compose the message. Researchers boast it is 97% accurate at interpreting letters, and 93% accurate for words.
The man behind this ridiculous development is Thad Starner (his first name alone should give you pause) and he was one of the tech bros behind Google Glass. He’s now a professor at the Georgia Institute of Technology, and has been tinkering with SilentSpeller through his connections there.
He basically took a speech therapy device called SmartPalate and jacked it up with 124 sensors that track tongue movements and send the data via USB cable to a computer or smartphone.
The idea is to allow people in quiet settings (like libraries) or loud settings (like public transit) to communicate without disrupting others. (Because strangers making rapid, wild tongue movements on the subway isn’t creepy AF at all…)
There’s also talk of getting the device in the hands (err…mouths) of people with Parkinson’s disease or essential tremors, but give us a break. We know exactly who this weird shit is for and it ain’t Grandpa.
We feel like all of this is embarrassingly premature. Shouldn’t men figure out how to locate the clit and pleasure a woman before they attempt tongue communication? First things first, fellas.
Cover Photo: YouTube
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