“The friendly skies” are getting a little too friendly. Make that handsy. A Southwest Airlines passenger was recently reprimanded after allegedly masturbating in front of a female passenger not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times during a single flight from Seattle to Phoenix.
It happened on Flight 3814. The masturbator, Antonio Sherrodd McGarity, “exposed his penis by pulling down his pants and shorts and proceeded to masturbate during the first hour of the flight,” read a criminal complaint filed by the victim. Allegedly, the jerk-off used both his hands to do the dirty deed.
“She suspected that McGarity ejaculated because he licked a white substance from his fingers,” the complaint stated.
(Pause for requisite vomiting.)
After his hour-long hand-job, he fell asleep.
When confronted by cops, the perv didn’t seem to think he did anything wrong; in fact, he told them he “thought it was kind of kinky.”
Perhaps that’s because he apparently asked his female seatmate if it was OK he masturbated during the flight. “According to McGarity, the female witness put her hands in the air and said, ‘It really doesn’t matter,’” the complaint read.
Yeah…we don’t know a woman in the world who wouldn’t object to some stranger choking the chicken for an hour straight next to her on a plane. Given that the woman took photos of the flasher before asking a flight attendant to move her to another seat tells us that she probably wasn’t down with his behavior.
When the FBI got ahold of McGarity in Phoenix, McGarity admitted to the lewd acts and received federal charges in return. He’s also banned for life from Southwest Airlines.
“On April 2, we received reports of inappropriate Customer behavior on flight 3814 from SEA to PHX. The situation was reported to Crewmembers while inflight, and the Captain contacted law enforcement to meet the aircraft upon arrival,” an airline rep said. “We immediately placed the passenger on our No-Fly List, resulting in a lifetime ban from traveling on Southwest.”
So what did we learn from all this, Mandatory readers? Masturbate in the air if you dare, but limit it to three times.
Cover Photo: Aenne Bolze / Eyeem (Getty Images)
Entertainment News 4 1 22
-
Katy Perry Splits Her Pants on ‘American Idol,’ Our Teenage Dream
-
Doja Cat Confirms She’s Quitting Music in Fiery Tweet, Can She Tom Brady Her Way Out of This One?
-
Mandatory Oscars: And the Award For Biggest Nip Slip of the Night Goes To…
-
Miley Cyrus Reacts to Fan’s Proposal During Concert in the Most Miley Way Possible
-
Mandatory Oscars Slap Battle: Team Will vs. Team Chris
-
QAnon Spouts Wild Will Smith Theories After Chris Rock Slap at Oscars
-
Footage of Will Smith Cracking Bald Jokes Resurfaces, A Time Traveling Slap in the Face
-
Bruce Willis Retires, No Yipee Ki-Yays Today
-
The Flash Ezra Miller Arrested, His Only Crime Was Being Caught in a Karaoke Bar
-
James Bond Reality Series Announced, Proving Hollywood Is Truly Out Of Ideas