If you’ve ever wanted to taste the flavor of outer space without splurging for a ticket on a dick rocket (or facing the threat of implosion from the cosmic pressure of an endless void), you’re in luck. Coca-Cola just released a limited-edition flavor called Starlight that will transport your taste buds to the heavens from the comfort of your native planet.
Like a 7th grader testing out some fresh identities, Coke is reinventing itself with a sparkling new marketing campaign called Coca-Cola Creations. And first up in their long line of out-of-this-world flavors is the red-tinged cola beverage with a flavor more mysterious than Pete Davidson’s sex appeal.
But before you get all judgy about the authenticity of Coca-Cola’s latest elixir, you should know that it says “space flavored” right there on the label, so you know it’s legit.
So what does Starlight actually taste like?
Instead of naming actual flavors like raspberry, red velvet, or cotton candy, Coke explained that Starlight tastes “reminiscent of stargazing around a campfire,” with hints of “cooling sensation that evokes the feeling of a cold journey to space.”
Just to clarify, the new bevy also tastes of “limitless possibilities” and “magic”, and comes in original and zero-sugar varieties. In a real-world test, we detected hints of maple, Dr. Pepper, and the sensation of running with tigers through a Siberian tundra.
But let’s not get too bogged down in the actual flavor part of the drink. What’s really important here is that Starlight features a QR code that transports brave chuggers to a virtual concert in space where Lady Gaga-styled singer Ava Max awaits.
The whole premise is beautifully crafted hokum because no one can actually tell Coke Starlight it doesn’t taste exactly as advertised. Who knew space-flavored bullshit tasted so sweet?
Cover Photo: Coca-Cola
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