A serial toilet clogger who had been terrorizing bathrooms across Sheboygan, Wisconsin, was finally flushed out this month, bringing an end to one of the largest obstruction sprees in state history. Patrick D. Beeman pleaded guilty to four counts of criminal damage to property and was sentenced to 150 days in jail for his infectious crimes.
“I need to make things right and pray for forgiveness every day,” Beeman said in a very weird statement. If you think his crime is bizarre, take the plunge into these recent mind-blowing offenses. Has the world lost its mind? Based on these crimes, we’d say the answer is a big yes.
Photo: charlie schuck (Getty Images)
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Serial Toilet Clogger
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Man Throws Alligator Through Drive-Thru Window
For reasons unknown, a man in Florida tossed an alligator at an unsuspecting woman working the drive-thru window at Wendy's. The man was charged with assault with a deadly weapon for launching the 4-foot reptile.
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Man Defecates In Coworker's Lunch
A water department employee in Colorado was arrested for attempting to blow up his coworkers with homemade bombs, and for regularly pooping into their lunch bags. The man claims it was all a funny prank, not understanding that ruining a pastrami sandwich is no laughing matter.
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Elderly Men Duke It Out Over Costco Free Samples
In a clear case illustrating the epidemic sweeping America, old-man rage has reached the hallowed aisles of Costco. After a 72-year-old man cut another customer in line twice (once for pizza, the other for a cheeseburger), the two aging seniors put on their fisticuffs and went to town. Never had police seen two samples of food more deserving of a duel.
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Man Zip-Ties Wedding Ring To Fish
An Illinois man got in trouble for endangering a fish when it was discovered that he had zip-tied his "cursed" wedding ring to the steelhead trout four years earlier. Once he explained how awful his ex-wife was, all charges were dropped.
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Man Licks Ice Cream In Copycat Crime
After a teen girl's video showing her licking an unopened carton of ice cream inside a store went viral, a 36-year-old man in Louisiana attempted to recreate the clip. He spent two days in jail before returning home where the tub of ice cream (he claimed had been paid for), was waiting with open arms.
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Pizza Thief
A Los Angeles man was arrested after stealing a slice of pizza moments after a hungry juvenile had stepped away from a take-out window in Venice Beach. Unfortunately for the peckish thief, he was apprehended shortly thereafter and is now serving a life sentence in prison.
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Hungry Gang Steals $100,000 Worth Of Ramen Noodles
Fayette County, Georgia, was the scene of the biggest ramen heist in American history. Three hundred thousand packets of instant ramen were stolen from an overturned truck in 2018, leaving authorities baffled at the lack of suspects, as well as the actual crime itself.
Black-market ramen does sound pretty bomb, though.
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Local Cats Mysteriously Shaved
There's something inherently wrong about shaving other people's cats. It's not outright assault or straight up perversion, but the people of Minchinhampton, England, were rightfully unsettled when local cats started turning up shaven. No cure for the creeps has been provided, as the culprit, dubbed "The Brazilian," remains at large.
