Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…our friend Florida Man hanging from a traffic light and pooping on cars. Yes, in a surprise to nobody, a Florida man named Roy Stern was recently apprehended, after he reportedly climbed a Miami traffic light, dropped trou and defecated on cars passing below. Both police and the fire department were called the scene, and a ladder was used to bring the man back down to the ground, but only after they made him use hand sanitizer. Authorities state that the man was high on crystal meth and marijuana at the time, which just makes the story even more incredible because when we smoke weed, the last thing we want to do is any sort of physical activity. Still, the fact that Stern was able to climb the light, single-handedly remove his trousers and literally take a shit on Miami is quite the feat. We get performance anxiety simply standing next to someone else at the urinal, so our hat is off to Mr. Stern. Hopefully, he doesn’t poop in it.
Cover Photo: Huzler.com
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Meanwhile in Florida 1/12/20
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