‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring…except for a burglar who broke into a man’s house to two do things: suck toes and chew bubblegum — and he was all out of bubblegum. On Christmas Eve, a Florida man was startled awake when he noticed somebody sucking his toes. In a scene reminiscent of the old urban legend, the man reached over the side of his bed and found that his dog was sleeping right where he left him, which meant only one thing: somebody was in the house with him. The man quickly kicked off the covers to discover a burglar down by his feet.
According to The Bradenton Herald, when the man asked what the burglar was doing, the man responded by saying he was “there to suck toes.” The New York Post reports that a fight erupted when the man tried kicking the toe-sucker out of his bed. The suspect tried to grab the man’s genitals and threatened that he had a gun. Eventually, the victim kicked the guy out of his bed, and house, and alerted the authorities. In order to track down the criminal (we’re not making this up), authorities took DNA swabs from the victim’s toes.
Cover Photo: efenzi (Getty Images)
Some like it hot: New Sex Toy Dips a Toe in the Pool of Freaky Fetishes
MORE WEIRD NEWS:
Meanwhile in Florida: Man Arrested For Hanging From Traffic Lights and Pooping on Cars, Stuck the Landing
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Meanwhile in Florida 1/12/20
-
Meanwhile In Florida: Dog Hijacks Car and Does Donuts For Over an Hour (Another Holiday Miracle!)
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Overly-Eager Holiday Lover Sits Atop Family’s Roof in Nothing But Underwear, Christmas Drills in Progress
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Police Ask Man to Quit Calling About His Stolen Weed
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Man Pulls Machete After Getting Rejected for Date (Imagine What He Does When He Gets Cheated On)
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Woman ‘Accidentally’ Gifts Semi-Automatic Rifle at Baby Shower, Completely Blows Away Karen’s Baby Yoga Mat
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Man Loses Card Game, Sets Winner’s Car on Fire With Him Inside (As You Do)
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Naked Man Steals Car From Valet, Wasn’t Planning on Leather Seats
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Man Arrested After Having Sex With Stuffed Animals In Target; Expected More, Paid Less
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Warehouse Worker Crashes Forklift, Smashes Window, Gets Naked (Not Necessarily in That Order)
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Fisherman Believes He Was Sexually Assaulted by Mermaid, Most Likely an Instagram Influencer
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Mom Leaves Kids on Bus to Smoke Weed, Alternative Parenting Style Denied
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Bus Evacuated After Teen Hot-Boxes It With Axe Body Spray, Coins New Term ‘Douchebus’