Mandatory Funniest Tweets to Wrap the Week: Quarantine Week 8 Edition

If not for the chicken scratches on our bedroom walls, how else would we know it’s time for this week’s funniest tweets? To commemorate another one in the can (and surviving the endless coronavirus isolation), we’ve got another funny collection for you. This week’s lockdown included the first reopen before the next lockdown, Fauci getting locked out for being too popular and Twinkies getting made into lattes, along with Jeffrey Epstein definitely not killing himself. As always, we’re here if you need us. Now, catch up on all the Twitter insanity here, then, of course, follow us on Twitter or our name isn’t @Mandatory.

L.A. wildlife really is getting brazen during the lockdown–just today I found three Hollywood Boulevard Spidermen wandering in my yard.

— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) May 5, 2020

The hardest part of being alive during the Civil War was probably that the best candy available was a strawberry blended with chalk called like "Grisham's Reprieve" or something

— Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) May 8, 2020

I'm looking for a greeting card, something along the lines of "Sorry your governor is trying to kill you."

— Worst Cass Scenario (@WorstCassie) May 1, 2020

Mike Pence caught on hot mic delivering empty boxes of PPE for a PR stunt. pic.twitter.com/IduvGhiPwj

— Matt McDermott (@mattmfm) May 8, 2020

https://twitter.com/FunnyMaine/status/1258784777479561216?s=20

I’m really trying to get the word out about Not Saying Things. Instead of saying things, you can just not say things and many still don’t know this

— Caitlin (@caithuls) May 6, 2020

https://twitter.com/elonjames/status/1258785573260726277?s=20

https://twitter.com/davelozo/status/1258784843338579970?s=20

https://twitter.com/Flora__Flora/status/1258785893306990597?s=20

https://twitter.com/johnwhaskell/status/1258506355830185984?s=20

since when is hitting rock bottom a bad thing? i love rocks and laying down.

— kim (@KimmyMonte) May 7, 2020

we are allowed to reopen for one minute

— . (@SuiNeltwork) May 7, 2020

Loving Seinfeld’s new special! ??? pic.twitter.com/eIjSSvlAz7

— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) May 8, 2020

Seems a little early to announce something nearly three decades away. https://t.co/4MpgEI9aNO

— Ian Abramson (@ianabramson) May 6, 2020

We don’t deserve them.

Dogs, bruh…????❤️? pic.twitter.com/rt15MWwKsr

— Rex Chapman?? (@RexChapman) May 7, 2020

Young American Forced to Find Hobby Without Sports, Travel and Work Weighing Him Down

‘TMNT’ Movie Turns 30: Meet ‘Middle-Aged Millennial Ninja Turtles’