lollapalooza

Meanwhile at Lollapalooza: Hilarious Drunk Girl Set to ‘Smooth Criminal’ Is Our #MarryMe of the Week

Lollapalooza is home to many memorable performances by legendary bands, but it’s also where you can catch music festival fans behaving in the weirdest ways imaginable. To wit: this video of a super intoxicated girl apparently trying to multitask and failing hilariously, all set to the tune of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal.”

In the video, the woman – who is either high or drunk or both – appears to be trying to cross the street while talking on the phone. As she attempts to walk, she bows her back like there’s a fierce wind blowing behind her. When she reaches the curb, she inexplicably starts walking backward as though propelled by some invisible force.

She makes it halfway across the road and hangs up the phone, then suddenly collapses on her back. (Meanwhile groups of people navigate around her, laughing, and one douche even points at her.) That’s when a security guard approaches with a walkie-talkie and apparently radios for help.

Reddit users has a few thoughts on the strange scene.

“Looks like the old “Black Tar Heroin Back Step” to me,” one commenter quipped.

“This is kind of what I do on mushrooms while standing if I don’t either start walking, dancing or singing,” another opined.

“Looks like the scene from The Wolf of Wall Street when Leonardo DiCaprio & Jonas swallowed numerous Quaaludes,” a third said.

Let this be a lesson, kids: if you must do drugs at a major event, try to stay in one spot (preferably, sitting down) once they hit your bloodstream. The last place you want to be wandering around with zero balance is anywhere made of concrete.

Cover Photo: Reddit

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