There’s a reason why we’re supposed to have a separation between church and state. The biggest reason, of course, is that a lot of church folk are pretty wacky. There’s the Jerry Falwell school that reopened…until kids started getting sick. There’s the televangelist who yelled at the coronavirus and told it to get on its belly and worship the Lord, before declaring the disease was “finished.” And then, there’s this guy: a pastor named Rodney Howard-Browne (no doubt, he took his wife’s last name but still wanted his own, hence the hyphen) who refused to close the church services of his Tampa, Florida church “until the End Times begin.”
Well, the end came a lot sooner for Howard-Browne, as police arrested the man of (a questionable) God, charging him with unlawful assembly and a violation of health emergency rules. Howard-Browne actually prayed in the White House with Donald Trump back in 2017, so it was surprising that he would so blatantly disregard a direct order from the man who many believe is the second coming of Jesus himself. In addition to keeping his church doors open, the good pastor was also keeping his Bible school open because, in his words, “we are raising up revivalists; not pansies.”
So, Florida has about 5,200 “pansies” (i.e. people infected with coronavirus), 62 of whom have died. Perhaps they just didn’t go to church enough. Regardless, law enforcement officials gave the pastor and his church ample opportunity to close services before it resulted in an arrest, but they ignored those decrees like Adam still choosing to bite the fruit even though God specifically told him that’s the one thing he couldn’t do. Luckily for Pastor Howard-Browne, churches love martyrs, so this should make for one heck of a sermon once the church is allowed to legally operate again.
Cover Photo: Hernando County Jail
Quaran-tweet: 20 Hilarious Tweets From Comedians to Keep You Laughing Through Coronavirus
MORE WEIRD NEWS:
Chosen one: Father John Misty Releases ‘Off-Key in Hamburg’ Live Album For COVID-19 Support, Currently God’s Favorite Musician
Help Prevent the Spread of the Coronavirus
Visit the Centers for Disease Control at CDC.gov or the World Health Organization at Who.int for the latest information on the coronavirus and learn what you can do to stop the spread.
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Weird News 3-12-2020
-
Calvin Klein Releases Gender Neutral Fragrance, Likely Smells Like Water and Conformity
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Calvin Klein
-
New ‘All the Streams’ Lets Cheapskates Watch Streaming Services For Free (Like Watching Cable at Your Parents’)
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: shironosov (Getty Images)
-
Shame Cone is the Latest Coronavirus Prevention Product (For You, Not the Dog)
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: globalmoments (Getty Images)
-
Pearl Necklaces (Not That Kind) Are Quickly Becoming the Must-Have Accessory for Men in 2020
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Nathan Congleton/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank (Getty Images)
-
Joaquin Phoenix About to Marry Fiancee Rooney Mara, Wedding Goers Just Glad the Groom Isn’t Expected to Give Speech
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Pascal Le Segretain / Staff (Getty Images)
-
Coronavirus Porn Is the Latest Guilty Pleasure, Quaran-Teens in Your Area (Legal Ones, Of Course)
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Fuse (Getty Images)
-
Toilet Paper Alternatives to Cover Your Ass During the Coronavirus Panic
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Darren Fast (Getty Images)
-
Everything Coronavirus Has Ruined So Far
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: mediaphotos (Getty Images)
-
Adrien Brody Dating Harvey Weinstein’s Ex-Wife, Likely Preparing for Role in Horror Show With Boobytraps
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Drew Altizer Photography (Shutterstock), Dave Benett (Getty Images)
-
Police Chief Stripped of Duties, Decides to Strip His Clothing As Well
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: John Summer (Getty Images)
-
Meanwhile in Florida: Monkeys Have Their Own Virus to Contend With, Incidentally They Know More About It Than Mike Pence Does About Ours
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Jeremy Woodhouse (Getty Images)
-
Hand Sanitizer Prices Skyrocket Amid Coronavirus, Our Cheap DIY Suggestions to Avoid Getting Scammed
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: matspersson0 (Getty Images)
