What is Friday anymore? Bill Withers just died, and it may not be a lovely day, but if you’re on planet Earth, you’re in dire need of our funniest tweets to celebrate surviving the endless madness of coronavirus quarantine. If you missed our last Tweets of the Week, you missed a lot, but this week included the continuation of the social-distancing saga, along with Jeffrey Epstein definitely not killing himself. Thank goodness we have this sweet tweet video to help make it a little better! As always, we’re here if you need us.
Now catch up on all the Twitter insanity here, then, of course, follow us on Twitter or our name isn’t @Mandatory.
Music: Bill Withers
Young American Forced to Find Hobby Without Sports, Travel and Work Weighing Him Down
‘TMNT’ Movie Turns 30: Meet ‘Middle-Aged Millennial Ninja Turtles’
Weird News 3-12-2020
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Calvin Klein Releases Gender Neutral Fragrance, Likely Smells Like Water and Conformity
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New ‘All the Streams’ Lets Cheapskates Watch Streaming Services For Free (Like Watching Cable at Your Parents’)
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Shame Cone is the Latest Coronavirus Prevention Product (For You, Not the Dog)
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Pearl Necklaces (Not That Kind) Are Quickly Becoming the Must-Have Accessory for Men in 2020
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Joaquin Phoenix About to Marry Fiancee Rooney Mara, Wedding Goers Just Glad the Groom Isn’t Expected to Give Speech
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Coronavirus Porn Is the Latest Guilty Pleasure, Quaran-Teens in Your Area (Legal Ones, Of Course)
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Toilet Paper Alternatives to Cover Your Ass During the Coronavirus Panic
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Everything Coronavirus Has Ruined So Far
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Adrien Brody Dating Harvey Weinstein’s Ex-Wife, Likely Preparing for Role in Horror Show With Boobytraps
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Police Chief Stripped of Duties, Decides to Strip His Clothing As Well
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Meanwhile in Florida: Monkeys Have Their Own Virus to Contend With, Incidentally They Know More About It Than Mike Pence Does About Ours
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Hand Sanitizer Prices Skyrocket Amid Coronavirus, Our Cheap DIY Suggestions to Avoid Getting Scammed