You could say that MyPillow guy Mike Lindell and former White House guy Donald Trump have a lot in common. Both have substantial paunches and jowls. Both have operated businesses that manufactured and sold shitty products. And both have been banned from Twitter for spreading falsehoods about the 2020 election – which probably explains why both cartoonish-looking, old white men are starting their own social media sites.
Say hello to Frank, the last cry for help from a wealthy, privileged, lonely man-boy. Yet despite its name (defined as open, honest, and direct especially when dealing with unpalatable matters) the free-speech site won’t allow any swearing, porn, or blasphemy (because God helped Lindell beat crack goddamit). Incidentally, it will allow for fake news, right-wing conspiracy theories, and baseless claims.
Even the static landing page (which will presumably be operational at some point) contains the falsehood, Frank “will be the platform for Americans who want to defend life, liberty, and all the freedoms that have marked America as the longest-running Constitutional Republic in the history of the world.”
Sounds impressive, if you ignore the fact that the longest-running constitutional republic in the world is San Marino.
The site, which aims to be a cross between Twitter and YouTube, launches on 4/20, but “VIPs” can gain access to the massive “Frank-a-thon” a few days early by paying a premium. Frank also boasts of being the “most secure platform ever,” no doubt an invitation to freedom-hating hackers around the world to prove this claim is also fake news. Frankly, we can’t wait to see what happens.
Cover Photo: Stephen Maturen / Stringer (Getty Images)
Sex quiz: Matt Gaetz Aces His Sexual Misconduct Tryouts
Donald: The Downward Spiral of Trump’s New Gig Life
Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Weird News 3.29.21
-
Awesome Mom Uses Deepfake Nudes to Frame Daughter’s Cheerleading Rivals, That’s the Spirit
-
Reddit Tale of Woman Who Accidentally Left Handcuffs Out When Boyfriend’s Mom Visited Goes Viral
-
Wedding Limo Catches Fire on Way to Ceremony, Bride Starting to Think Universe Is Trying to Communicate With Her (Or Is God a Jealous F-Boi?)
-
Meanwhile in San Francisco: Woman Who Coughs on Uber Driver Earns Jerk of the Year Award, Turns Herself In To Receive It (Video)
-
Meanwhile in the Bathtub: Woman Finds Herself in Giant Bowl of Hot Chocolate After Bath Bomb Fail
-
RANKED! The Dumbest Conspiracy Theories on Social Media (Including TikTokers Burning Snowballs to Prove Winter Is Fake News)
-
Covid Vaccine Site Asks People Why They Got the Shot (And Their Answers Are Hilarious)
-
Laser-Beam Prototype Aimed at Mosquitoes Awaits Expected Backfire From Marjorie Taylor Green
-
Twin Babies Freak Out at Dad’s Clean-Shaven Face in Viral Video, One More Reason We’re Never Shaving Again (Or Having Kids)
-
Meanwhile in England: Weasel Riding Woodpecker’s Back Feels a Bit American, Only a Matter of Time Before Marvel Gets Involved
-
Runaway Ronald: Statue of McDonald’s Mascot Clown Stolen, And Yes They Actually Want it Back
-
Meanwhile in Georgia: Armed Bystander Thwarts Chick-Fil-A Robber, People Really Are Struggling Out There