Sometimes you just gotta get off. We understand, we really do. But when the urge to go on a masturbating spree overtakes you, for godsakes, do it in private where no one has to watch you. (Unless you’re hot, in which case, we’ll catch you on OnlyFans.)
Apparently, a Minnesotan woman didn’t get the memo about keeping your self-lovin’ on the down-low. 35-year-old Jennifer Weber was recently found totally naked and masturbating on the floor of a stranger’s pickup truck in Mankato. The cops arrived on the scene after concerned citizens had called to report “a naked female walking around and jumping in and out of vehicles at a retail business that sells motor vehicles,” according to MEAWW.
The officers found Weber in the pickup truck, door wide open, “digitally penetrating” herself, and mumbling about St. Petersburg, Florida. Apparently, she had no shame about her activities and didn’t mind the audience. Despite the presence of law enforcement, she just kept banging away – for a full hour! (Never underestimate the power of a good finger fuck.)
“Throughout this time, Weber was making nonsensical statements and continued to masturbate,” a probable cause statement read.
Weber’s panties and pants were MIA, but the cops did find a metal spoon containing a substance later confirmed to be meth in the truck.
Eventually, she was coaxed out of the car, arrested, and taken to detox. She’s since been charged with indecent exposure, narcotics possession, DWI, and entering a vehicle without the owner’s permission but is no longer being held in jail.
What happens next is anybody’s guess – but we’d definitely recommend keeping her in handcuffs the next time she has to appear in public.
Cover Photo: knewz
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