It may seem like all of the news-worthy events this year took place in politics, but that’s a fallacy. There were plenty of awful people nowhere near the White House doing deplorable things across the country over the past 12 months (though most of them seem to live in Florida).
Every year, we at Mandatory select the worst of the worst of our weird news stories and present them to you in our Hall of Shame. From toilet paper tussles to poop fetish rumors to roadside sex, 2020 was just one human fuck-up after another. Read up, have a laugh, and thank the heavens that you aren’t anywhere near as depraved as these people are. (Or are you?)
Cover Photo: John Rensten (Getty Images)
Meanwhile in Florida: Toddler Gets Head Stuck in Toilet Seat, Dad Saves the Day With Saw
Meanwhile in Florida: College Student Jailed For Fish Photo, There Goes His Tinder Profile
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Hall of Shame 2020
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The Funniest Tweets About Cleveland Brown Odell Beckham Jr.’s Rumored Poop Fetish
Odell Beckham Jr., the wide receiver for the Cleveland Browns, is not a lucky guy. Twitter went insane over rumors about how he likes to play — not on the field but in the bedroom.
Read more here.
Photo: Diamond Images / Contributor (Getty Images)
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Gender Reveal Party Sparks Wildfire, Time to Burn This Stupid Baby Shower Tradition to the Ground
In San Bernardino County, California, a “smoke generating pyrotechnic device” used at a gender reveal party caused what is now known as the El Dorado Fire.
Read more here.
Photo: JOSH EDELSON / Contributor (Getty Images)
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Dudes Are So Broke, They’re Trying to Sell Their Dicks Online (No, Really)
Desperate times call for desperate measures. As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to tank the economy, many people have found themselves trying to figure out how to make a quick buck. Donate plasma, perhaps? What about selling sperm? Or maybe, just maybe, you could try pawning your penis?
Read more here.
Photo: Roman Didkivskyi (Getty Images)
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RANKED! The Dumbest Things Trump Has Said in 2020
To say that Donald Trump says really dumb things would be like saying Jesus is kind of a nice guy. He continues to prove himself as a dumbass pretty much any time he appears on television. Or sends a tweet.
Read more here.
Photo: Scott Olson (Getty Images)
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Rudy Giuliani Is Star of the New ‘Borat’ Movie, This Nut Busted With His Hand in His Pants (Plus Twitter’s Best Reactions)
A scene in the forthcoming Borat sequel features none other than former New York City mayor and current Trump attorney Rudy Giuliani rubbing his junk in the presence of a young woman he believed to be a journalist.
Read more here.
Photo: Twitter
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Colorado In-N-Out Opening Ends in a Hangry Fight, Hold the Pants
We’ve all been hangry (a dangerous combination of hungry and angry). But that stomach-grumbling frustration has never propelled us into a fist fight. Or made us lose our pants. Granted, if we were about to get into a brawl, it’d probably be over burgers, especially those of the In-N-Out variety.
Read more here.
Photo: Twitter
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Coronavirus Porn Is the Latest Guilty Pleasure, Quaran-Teens in Your Area (Legal Ones, Of Course)
Whether you use coronavirus porn to unwind, get educated (yes, there are informative videos that also feature sex), or beat back the fear of getting the virus yourself, you may as well enjoy this niche porn category while it lasts.
Read more here.
Photo: Fuse (Getty Images)
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Prime Target: Amazon Selling Weird Sex T-Shirts to Children (Again)
Another big reason to dislike the owner of Amazon.com is because his website continues to market weird/gross T-shirts to children — even using child models in some cases.
Read more here.
Photo: Amazon
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Meanwhile in Florida: Drunk Man Steals Bulldozer to Knock Down Biden-Harris Signs, Not Exactly Stealth
Political yard signs can be annoying – especially if they’re for the party you oppose. But that doesn’t give you the right to get drunk, steal a bulldozer, and dig up your neighbors’ yard to remove them.
Read more here.
Photo: Bay News 9
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Meanwhile In Florida: Homophobic Man Shoots Doctor For Making Him Orgasm During Prostate Exam
Nobody likes going to the doctor, especially for prostate exams, but we don’t hold that against the doctors themselves. Then again, we’re not from Florida. And one man from the Sunshine State didn’t like how his appointment with an MD went down – and shot him.
Read more here.
Photo: Terry J (Getty Images)
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Meanwhile in Florida: Couple Busted For Smashing on Public Road (What a Train Wreck)
This story gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “Get a room!” A couple in Florida (where else?) was recently apprehended after having sex on the side of the road, giving passing motorists quite an eyeful.
Read more here.
Photo: Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office
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Face-Slap Wars Are the Ultimate Pandemic Fight Binge
Have you ever worried about having too few brain cells? Has it made it hard to keep a job, communicate with other bipeds or led you to listen to The Joe Rogan Experience? If so, then face-slap wars could be the sport for you.
Read more here.
Photo: Andrei Samsonov / Contributor (Getty Images)
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Social Media Gone Bad: Firefighters Forced To Save TikTok Teen Stuck In A Baby Swing
Teenager Layani Maclean of Oxfordshire climbed into a baby swing at a local playground while filming an ill-conceived TikTok.
Read more here.
Photo: TikTok
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TikTok Users Getting Injured Trying to Twerk Like Cardi B, Someone Pause That ‘WAP’ Before Someone Slips and Falls
There’s nothing wrong with trying to emulate your favorite musical artists. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, after all. But if you’re injuring yourself in the process, it’s time to take a step back and sit this song out.
Read more here.
Photo: TikTok
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Meanwhile in Florida: Woman Posing As Filthy Bunny Delivers Spiked Easter Eggs, Toilet Paper and Nudes
One Florida woman has taken it upon herself to deliver treats to all the good boys and girls in Flagler County. The only problem is, her treats may not be, um, appropriate for younger audiences.
Read more here.
Photo: Fred de Noyelle/Godong (Getty Images)
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California Mom Hides Toilet Paper From 26-Year-Old Son, Gets Punched
We’re as concerned as the next panic shopper about the toilet paper shortage due to the coronavirus pandemic. But we’d never come to blows over a roll of two-ply. If only the same could be said about a 26-year-old California man who allegedly punched his mother because of a Charmin-related dispute.
Read more here.
Photo: Biserka Stojanovic (Getty Images)
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Sex Addict Has Heart Attack During Orgy, Died Doing What He Loved
What a way to go! A sex addict in Thailand croaked during a recent orgy. His name was Khun Thep and he died doing what he loved.
Read more here.
Photo: ViralPress
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Police Find Loaded Gun Stashed Up the Butt of Louisiana Man, What Could Go Right?
Dumb criminals abound, but some are dumber than others. Twenty-four-year-old Justin Savoie of Louisiana is definitely on the dumber end of the spectrum.
Read more here.
Photo: Lafourche Parish Sheriff’s Office
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Meanwhile in Florida: Man Arrested For Hanging From Traffic Lights and Pooping on Cars, Stuck the Landing
Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…our friend Florida Man hanging from a traffic light and pooping on cars.
Read more here.
Photo: Huzler.com
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Traveler Hides Gold Up His Butt to Avoid Paying Taxes, Worth It Every Way
Some people will do anything to avoid paying taxes – like making their butthole into a bank. We shit you not, though one man might be shitting gold bricks for a while.
Read more here.
Photo: Commissionerate of Customs (Preventive), Cochin
